What's Next? Why Now?

I've been reading a friend's blog of late.

She writes consistently, every single day, but freely acknowledges the importance of marking things like holidays, turns of season, and a new year. So while I cringe a bit at re-launching this blog on January 1st (the same day I quit soda - again, as I have almost every year in the past decade) I also realize that I don't have to let anything get in my way. Thanks, Christa, for that.

I also realized, just around the stroke of midnight, that while I don't turn 40 until late June, this is the year I turn 40. And that it's very important to me to feel as if I'm creating a life that will give me another 40 years as rewarding as the 39 years, 6 months and 1 day I've had so far.

So this blog takes another turn. The alphabet prompts and "Danny Gets Fat" remain on hiatus, but I'm hoping to take a new look at things, here, starting today.

What will it mean to be 40? Who do I expect to be at 40, and in the hopefully many years beyond? What stories does a 40-year-old need to write?

The year I turned thirty, I started the year lost. I'd been left by a man I loved; I'd gained weight I didn't want; I'd recently taken a job I knew was a mistake. In short, I felt trapped by the life I'd built. At 29, I didn't trust the track I was on.

I also realized, in January of that year, that I could change things. That I could upend the "rules" and expectations of my life, and do something new. I did some great things that year, all of which helped me get where I am today.

So, what great things will I do this year? I know we will run a 10-miler, and intend to run a half-marathon. (The we is Matt and I. He is not something I want to change.) I intend to make more of my free time and to be more accepting of times that seem out of my control. I need to be a more engaged brother to a harried sister, and a more helpful son to two sets of parents who are quite quickly growing old. Finally, and this blog should be a central part of it: I need to write.

In retrospect, I did a lot of writing last year, putting down tens of thousands of words on 3 new novel ideas. As of today, none of them shout to me that they are "the story," but I do believe "the story" is there. Perhaps, I should say "the next story" instead. Perhaps that should be the new title of this blog: The Next Story. The Next Forty Years.

Here's to the next half of my life. Cheers.